I’m at the gym, mid-workout, and this drop-dead gorgeous woman in her 40ties walks in. You know the type—perfect hair, killer smile, and that effortless glow like she just stepped out of a magazine.
Naturally, I had to start chatting with her, and the more she talks, the more I’m blown away. She’s not just pretty, she’s living the dream. Career on point, travels everywhere, thriving relationships—the whole package.
So, I hit her with, ‘You must be into manifesting, right?’ And she looks at me, dead serious, and goes, ‘What’s that?’
WHAT?! I’m like, ‘Girl, how do you NOT know?! You’re literally the poster child for it!’
And then she spills the juiciest tea about her life motto and it instantly clicks for me how she’s been unknowingly manifesting everything she’s got. And now, I’m gonna spill it all to you…
the 1 habit that will fix 99% of your problems.
How Mastering Your Mindset Will Manifest Your Dream Life
She said:
“I am always okay with what life throws my way. I know that everything is happening for my highest good; I just have to let it do its thing.”
This is the magic habit that will fix about ALL of your problems.
Let that really sink in. Talking about manifesting your dream life sounds so easy—you just have to assume your dream reality, believe, and it’s yours. But in practice? If we really believed this, we wouldn’t be so bothered by our current reality. Our current reality literally works for us.
Accept the Uncomfortable to Fix It
“But I am being treated poorly by people around me, I have no money, no goal, and no hope in my life. How can I possibly accept any of this? How does that even make sense?”
Guurl (or boy), I am giving you the cheat code to life here. You have to be ready to be uncomfortable for maybe a few weeks, tops. But this discomfort will grant you eternal peace afterward.
Everything—no matter how shitty or hurtful—happens for you, and in a sense, is coming from you. It is 100% a stepping stone for a deep desire you have.
Let me give you an example: You desire a loving, emotionally available, and faithful SP (specific person). You think about it, affirm it, and then suddenly, your current SP breaks up with you. Ahh, fuckkk… No! GOOD!
Things are moving. It may be hurtful at first, but things not staying stagnant means you are on the way to your desire. You affirmed it, and the breakup is your answer that it’s being granted. You’re seeing movement.
The what, how, when, where don’t matter. The universe has a master plan, but it needs you to stick with it without moaning every 5 seconds.
How to Stick With the Plan
How do you stick with the plan?
- First, be okay with each step. Only when you accept each change will the next step come. You’ll be stuck in a specific state until you accept it.
- Second, see the vision repeatedly. Keep envisioning your desires to stay motivated.
“But I want my current SP!” No, you don’t. You clearly stated that you want a loving, emotionally available, and faithful SP. Don’t back down just because it stings.
Now, some good news: you only have to train yourself once (with a bit of maintenance work here and there), and it will become a habit to interpret every unpleasant thing as a positive stepping stone.
This mindset will last you the rest of your life. Take someone who lives with this mindset—strip away all their possessions—and they’ll gain it all back. Why? Because this mindset is all you’ll ever need.
Master Your Emotional Triggers
I know this is next-level shit because I had to learn it too, and I still have to remind myself to apply it. And honestly, what is this phenomenon where human brains forget what’s beneficial for them? If anybody knows the reason, please enlighten me in the comments!
Everyone has a specific trigger. My main trigger is definitely changes in interpersonal relations. When I invest my time, energy, love, or money in someone, and they change the dynamic of the relationship, it triggers me massively.
For example, if someone who was usually affectionate and attentive suddenly changes and says it’s due to a heavier workload, I used to overthink it. I’d search for the “real reason,” while someone less triggered would just accept what they said and move on with their life.
My untrained brain would spiral, looking for answers and solutions—which were all shit, by the way—because they came from an unhealed, desperate part of me that let the outer world define my emotional state.
But here’s the truth: The juicy and amazing solutions that actually serve you will come once you learn to be okay with where you are right now in life.
Now, I’ll teach you how to overcome being a slave to your emotions and accept—and therefore de-power—your current 3D reality. This mindset is just one simple thing you have to train yourself in.
Once mastered, it becomes a lifelong habit to interpret every unpleasant thing as a positive shift. You could take a person with this mindset, strip away all their possessions, and they’d still gain it all back—because the secret doesn’t lie out here (gestures outside), it lies in here (gestures to self).
3 Ways to Train Your Emotions
When I say train, I literally mean train—as in, you’re a puppy. A sweet little teeny-tiny puppy, absolutely adorable but also untrained, undisciplined, and let’s be real, a total pain in the arse.
You have to train yourself, just like you’d train a puppy. Without guidance, your emotions—like that untrained puppy—might occasionally behave, but eventually, they’ll make a mess of your life.
It’s like texting your ex—you know you shouldn’t, but those FEEELIIINGGSS take over, and boom! Mess.
With these three steps, you’ll finally become the boss of your emotions. But like anything worthwhile, it takes practice, so be patient and consistent. You wouldn’t expect a puppy to do tricks after just one lesson, right? Same goes for your emotions. Give yourself the same compassion!
1) Stop Triggering Yourself
No social media or other triggers—seriously. If you want to heal, you have to stop self-triggering. Your current situation is already enough without spreading extra salted butter on top by scrolling through Instagram.
Plus, social media trains you to be lazy, unproductive, and reliant on distractions to avoid facing what’s really going on.
You’ve got a problem, and suddenly your feed is full of the worst-case scenarios. Whether it’s brain science or witchcraft, it happens every single time.
For example, let’s say you’re worried your boyfriend is being distant. Bam! Instagram Tarot readers pop up telling you to dump him because he’s a narcissist. Reels tell you the relationship is doomed.
You feel like a soggy slice of leftover pizza but still keep scrolling. It’s called doom-scrolling—look it up. You’re swiping through 100s of reels, your stomach sinking, your heart racing. Gurl, if you’re into masochism, there are other ways to scratch that itch.
- Stop stalking your ex
- Stop obsessing over bad news
- Don’t read the comment sections
- Stop the sad music, the gossip, and comparing yourself.
- Protect your peace and stay away from the tiny black screen in your hand—it’s just waiting to drag you into an anxiety spiral because you have no self-control.
So, for the next few weeks, delete Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat. Resist the urge to pick up your phone unless it’s a life-or-death emergency—and you and I both know that’s never the case.
Make it fun by creating a reward system: one week without social media = treat yourself to your favorite snack. Two weeks? Buy that skincare product you’ve been eyeing.
2) Create an Alter-Ego
Creating an alter-ego will
- a) help you cope with your current reality and
- b) get you to your desired reality much, much faster.
So, a 2-in-1 — I love 2-in-1s.
Creating an alter-ego works because…
- every version of you attracts and lives in a different reality.
- All of these different—better or worse—realities already exist in the here and now.
- You don’t see them because your current character, your current habits, the way you currently speak, walk, talk, dream, eat, drink, whatever, will always attract your current reality.
There is no other way of escaping and skipping through realities than to change YOU. There is no one else to hold accountable for your stagnant or unsatisfying life than YOU.
That being said, I also want you to know that we hear and accept this fact only when we are ready to do so. Everything happens in perfect timing, so NEVER feel bad for your current state—just know that you have the power to change, and if you are here hearing this right now, you’ve already taken the first step in that direction.
“If You Make One Step, God Will Make Two” (Matthew 11:28)—you can replace ‘God’ with ‘The Universe’ if you’re not religious, but this is exactly how it works.
Accept Reality, But Change You
So, accept your current reality but change yourself. The beautiful part is that you already know exactly what needs to change. The answers are within you—you’re just a few meditations away.
Find a comfy spot, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths. Picture your dream life—every detail—and let yourself soak in that for a few minutes. Now, shift your focus to the dream version of you who’s living that life. Keep that image in your mind, feeling what it’s like to be that version of you—from the inside and the outside.
- Where is she?
- What’s she doing?
- Who’s around her?
- How does she start her day?
- What are her hobbies, habits, mindset, and energy like?
- How does she handle challenges?
- What is she wearing?
- What’s her hairstyle and color?
- Are there any signature accessories she wears?
- How does she carry herself—what’s her posture, her walk?
Write the answers down and feel which one of these things you can and want to apply or accomplish next. And if your dream version vision isn’t super clear right away, don’t worry—it’ll sharpen with each meditation session!
3) Hammer Down The Following Beliefs
To be at peace during emotionally draining periods—aka being a badass bitch—you have to go through life in a loving but healthily detached way.
What do I mean by that?
For example, when people do you wrong, it’s normal to want to cry, scream into your pillow, and fantasize about them mistaking Nair for their conditioner. Totally understandable. But after that healthy short-term venting session, you have two long-term coping options:
- You resent them for the rest of your life, wishing them eternal damnation while secretly hoping they come back begging for your love and admitting they fumbled you.
- You accept that they have issues and that it’s not your fault. People who wrong others always have some kind of problem. It’s their loss, not yours. You move on, level up for yourself, and if you’re monk-level enlightened, you might even forgive them and wish them healing.
Choose Compassion Over Triggered Reactions
You always have two options: reacting the triggered way, which keeps you stuck in the past, or reacting with compassion, because you love yourself enough not to hurt yourself by holding onto resentment. Being resentful doesn’t harm them—it only drags you down.
To live with healthy detachment and move forward with grace, you need to hammer down these core beliefs:
- You take your life too seriously.
Whatever happens, accept it as part of the bigger plan. It’s not happening to you, it’s happening for you. It might be a blessing in disguise, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. - Focus on the now.
Anxiety comes from worrying about the future, and frustration comes from holding onto the past. The past is gone, and the future isn’t here yet, so it doesn’t make sense to let those “two thieves” (as Neville Goddard calls them) rob you of the present moment. - You are not alone.
Whether you call it God, the Universe, or something else, know that there is a higher power out there that’s always got your back. No matter how unlovable or messed up you may feel, that power is all-loving and all-forgiving. When you tap into that compassion—without letting toxic people back into your life—you’ll always come out on top.
What We Learned Today
Training your emotions is just like getting a puppy to behave—it takes some time and practice, but the results are 100% worth it.
By ditching self-triggering habits, creating an alter ego, and keeping a healthily detached vibe, you’ll crush life’s challenges and draw in the reality you want.
Remember, every setback is just a setup for your next big win. Embrace the chaos, and watch your life shift in a positive direction!
